Why are we so ............................ mean?

[Bonobo]

When I am not cynical, I turn idealistic. Then, I am constantly surprised by people`s low desires. Why are we so mean?

E.g., why is the topic of 5 junior high school students getting pregnant so popular in the polishnews forum??

Since May 2010, it has gained 305 comments, the most of all.
www.thenews.pl/national/artykul132388_game-in-secondary-school-gets-five-pregnant.html

Why? Why are people so excited about it?
I don`t get it.

[jeanne]

Oct 3, 2010 20:57:49 GMT 1 Bonobo said:

When I am not cynical, I turn idealistic. Then, I am constantly surprised by people`s low desires. Why are we so mean?

E.g., why is the topic of 5 junior high school students getting pregnant so popular in the polishnews forum??

Since May 2010, it has gained 305 comments, the most of all.
www.thenews.pl/national/artykul132388_game-in-secondary-school-gets-five-pregnant.html

Why? Why are people so excited about it?
I don`t get it.

It's part of human nature (and our fallen state) to think the worst of other people, to gloat over their sins (especially sexual ones...all the more titillating!) and to generally degrade others in order to feel superior. Hopefully, mature people strive to overcome this tendency in themselves and replace it with understanding, compassion and a desire to have human mercy on others. Such attention to it on the polishnews forum is nothing else than a glorified form of gossip...something deadly and degrading in itself to the human spirit.

[tufta]

Oct 3, 2010 20:57:49 GMT 1 Bonobo said:

Why are we so mean?

I appreciate you egalitarism. But , cynically and sarcastically, I have to disappoint you; you are not 'they', 'they' are not you. The crowd, the masses are not you. You have only chosen to stand for the masses and to raise the masses. You are nothing but another Polish inteligent, Polish Don Kichote.

[Bonobo]

Oct 3, 2010 22:11:21 GMT 1 tufta said:

Oct 3, 2010 20:57:49 GMT 1 Bonobo said:

Why are we so mean?

I appreciate you egalitarism. But , cynically and sarcastically, I have to disappoint you; you are not 'they', 'they' are not you. The crowd, the masses are not you. You have only chosen to stand for the masses and to raise the masses. You are nothing but another Polish inteligent, Polish Don Kichote.

No, I am not.

See this video.


Why are people laughing out loud?

To make it worse, I would do the same.


I am mean too.

Oct 3, 2010 21:48:15 GMT 1 jeanne said:

It's part of human nature (and our fallen state) to think the worst of other people, to gloat over their sins (especially sexual ones...all the more titillating!) and to generally degrade others in order to feel superior. Hopefully, mature people strive to overcome this tendency in themselves and replace it with understanding, compassion and a desire to have human mercy on others. Such attention to it on the polishnews forum is nothing else than a glorified form of gossip...something deadly and degrading in itself to the human spirit.

Yes, that explains why people are so rude to baboons in the video above.

[tufta]

Oct 21, 2010 18:13:06 GMT 1 Bonobo said:

I am mean too.

Typical sinusoid of self-esteem and mental shape, my dear Don

[Bonobo]

I still can`t forget it. Why was that guy so foul?

During vacation, at a campsite, I couldn`t sleep because a TV was too loud in a tent next to ours. It was a series about an investigation into rapes and murders. I still remember - a McBaine/McBane was involved in it or them.

At 11.30 pm I decided I had enough and went to my neighbour. I had to wake him up - he was sleeping by TV. He agreed to turn it off and so he did.

But on the next day he got very nasty - he started walking all over the area where we stayed and told people how badly I had mistreated him, by waking him at night and telling him to turn off his TV. He also used a mobile phone several times, describing the incident loudly enough for me to hear. He could phone his mother or sister. He mentioned smart asses from Krakow who push decent people around.

I approached the guy again to explain things and settle down his visibly disturbed emotions. But he didn`t want to hear me. He said he hadn`t come to a campsite to make friends so I`d better leave him alone. He also promised to check if we are not too noisy in our tent at night. So he did - I heard some footsteps outside.

The greatest paradox was that he was a wearing a big Catholic cross on his neck.

I waited how it would all end but on the next day his tent was gone. He probably felt so offended that he decided to give up our company.

How is it possible the guy couldn`t understand that his TV was disturbing someone?

Fortunately, seldom do I meet such jerks.

What about you?

[valpomike]

The world has many jerks, many we have to overlook, like our president. In time we all can look for some changes, I hope.

Mike

[tufta]

Oct 28, 2010 13:47:56 GMT 1 Bonobo said:

Fortunately, seldom do I meet such jerks.

What about you?

Seldom.

[tufta]

Oct 28, 2010 18:16:52 GMT 1 valpomike said:

The world has many jerks, many we have to overlook, like our president. In time we all can look for some changes, I hope.

Mike

My goodness! Bo, you didn't say the guy was American president!!

But, after all, it does not change my answer - seldom...

[Bonobo]

Feb 8, 2011 16:20:38 GMT 1 jeanne said:

Feb 8, 2011 15:08:28 GMT 1 Bonobo said:

Because I am ...hard to explain...I have certain powers at my disposal... I am able to foresee things.....
I won`t talk about it. It is sort of a secret.

Allow me to be blunt: You're a control freak who likes cats. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Really?



In psychology-related slang, control freak is a derogatory term for a person who attempts to dictate how everything around them is done - 'a control freak. Scared to let us have differences'[1]. The phrase was first used in the late 1960s[2] - an era when great stress was laid on the principle that one 'should not get into control battles about making... person do things'[3].

[edit] Control freakery and vulnerability

'Control freaks or perfectionists'[4] can be seen as defending themselves against inner vulnerabilities - as with the man who was 'a dominating control freak because of his mistaken belief that if he wasn't in control, he would re-experience his childhood angst'[5]. Such a figure will 'cajole, wheedle, pressurise, get "difficult" all the time, to get his own way. He's always behaving like a puppet-master, tying strings on other people...because he can't bear to be changed himself'[6]. Similarly, a woman who 'is not grounded either in her own imagery or her own musculature...finds her identity in power over (sometimes called love of) her body, her family, her friends, her garden....Without that control, she is nobody'[7]. When such a control freak pattern is broken, 'the Controller is left with a terrible feeling of powerlessness....But feeling their pain and fear brings them back to themselves[8].

Control freaks have been linked to codependents, in the sense that 'codependency stems from a deep-rooted fear of abandonment, which leads to an excessive need to control and dominate...to control others because they fear they cannot control themselves'[9]. Recovery entails recognising that being 'a control freak...kept me in codependency, and pushed people away from me. To grow out of controlling, we learn to be, instead of do'[10].

In terms of personality-type theory, 'the Control Freak...is very much a Type A...driven [by a] need to be in control[11].
[edit] The control freak in management

In the corporate world, control freaks tend to publicly admonish their inferiors, especially during meetings.[12] More positively, the term can also refer to someone with a limited number of things that they want done a specific way; professor of clinical psychology Les Parrott wrote that "Control Freaks are people who care more than you do about something and won't stop at being pushy to get their way."[13] There may be a fine line here. If a woman 'prided herself on being a detail-oriented manager: when she ran a business she liked to know every nook and cranny, to check it was done right...[&] that trait had prompted some colleagues to brand her a "control freak"'[14], was she so, or merely excelling at her job?

In some cases, the control freak sees their constant intervention as beneficial or even necessary; this can be caused by feelings of superiority, believing that others are incapable of handling matters properly, or the fear that things will go wrong if they do not attend to every detail. Thus in a research context, 'a steeper hierarchy just disables the operation because it brings out the control freak...who wants to know exactly how money is being spent, right down to the last pencil'[15].

In other cases, they may simply enjoy the feeling of power it gives them so much that they automatically try to gain control of everything around them.

[jeanne]

I use the term "control freak" loosely. I was taking your words, "I have certain powers at my disposal..." to mean you can decide whatever you want regarding how things are run on this forum. In other words, you control things here.

Did you think I was being MEAN by calling you that?...is that why you moved it to this thread??? If so, I've never been called "mean" in my life!! You are so MEAN to imply that! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

By the way, are we using the same sense of the word "mean" here? "Mean" can mean base, lowly, ignoble, or it can mean "malicious," and I'm getting really confused with all these meanings of "mean", and I mean really confused.

[Bonobo]

Feb 8, 2011 17:27:34 GMT 1 jeanne said:

I use the term "control freak" loosely. I was taking your words, "I have certain powers at my disposal..." to mean you can decide whatever you want regarding how things are run on this forum. In other words, you control things here.

Did you think I was being MEAN by calling you that?...is that why you moved it to this thread??? If so, I've never been called "mean" in my life!! You are so MEAN to imply that! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

By the way, are we using the same sense of the word "mean" here? "Mean" can mean base, lowly, ignoble, or it can mean "malicious," and I'm getting really confused with all these meanings of "mean", and I mean really confused.

I put it here in the context of someone being a freak, not because you called me that. ;D ;D ;D

Mean is used in its universal meaning here.

You have dissected it galantly. Congrats!

But why didn`t you do the same with powers? It also has multiple meanings. And I didn`t mean my power over the forum.

Which one did I mean, then?


Power 2
Definition: Ability to act, regarded as latent or inherent; the faculty of doing or performing something; capacity for action or performance; capability of producing an effect, whether physical or moral: potency; might; as, a man of great power; the power of capillary attraction; money gives power.

Power 3
Definition: Ability, regarded as put forth or exerted; strength, force, or energy in action; as, the power of steam in moving an engine; the power of truth, or of argument, in producing conviction; the power of enthusiasm.

Power 4
Definition: Capacity of undergoing or suffering; fitness to be acted upon; susceptibility; called also passive power; as, great power of endurance.

Power 5
Definition: The exercise of a faculty; the employment of strength; the exercise of any kind of control; influence; dominion; sway; command; government.

Power 6
Definition: The agent exercising an ability to act; an individual invested with authority; an institution, or government, which exercises control; as, the great powers of Europe; hence, often, a superhuman agent; a spirit; a divinity.

Power 7
Definition: A military or naval force; an army or navy; a great host.

Power 8
Definition: A large quantity; a great number; as, a power o/ good things.

Power 9
Definition: The rate at which mechanical energy is exerted or mechanical work performed, as by an engine or other machine, or an animal, working continuously; as, an engine of twenty horse power.

Power 10
Definition: A mechanical agent; that from which useful mechanical energy is derived; as, water power; steam power; hand power, etc.

Power 11
Definition: Applied force; force producing motion or pressure; as, the power applied at one and of a lever to lift a weight at the other end.

Power 12
Definition: A machine acted upon by an animal, and serving as a motor to drive other machinery; as, a dog power.

Power 13
Definition: The product arising from the multiplication of a number into itself; as, a square is the second power, and a cube is third power, of a number.

Power 14
Definition: Mental or moral ability to act; one of the faculties which are possessed by the mind or soul; as, the power of thinking, reasoning, judging, willing, fearing, hoping, etc.

Power 15
Definition: The degree to which a lens, mirror, or any optical instrument, magnifies; in the telescope, and usually in the microscope, the number of times it multiplies, or augments, the apparent diameter of an object; sometimes, in microscopes, the number of times it multiplies the apparent surface.

Power 16
Definition: An authority enabling a person to dispose of an interest vested either in himself or in another person; ownership by appointment.

Power 17
Definition: Hence, vested authority to act in a given case; as, the business was referred to a committee with power.

power 18
Definition: physical strength

power 19
Definition: possession of controlling influence; "the deterrent power of nuclear weapons"; "the power of his love saved her"; "his powerfulness was concealed by a gentle facade"

power 20
Definition: possession of the qualities (especially mental qualities) required to do something or get something done; "danger heightened his powers of discrimination"

power 21
Definition: a mathematical notation indicating the number of times a quantity is multiplied by itself

power 22
Definition: a state powerful enough to influence events throughout the world

power 23
Definition: a very wealthy or powerful businessman; "an oil baron"

power 24
Definition: one possessing or exercising power or influence or authority; "the mysterious presence of an evil power"; "may the force be with you"; "the forces of evil"

power 25
Definition: (physics) the rate of doing work; measured in watts (= joules/second)

power 26
Definition: (of a government or government official) holding an office means being in power; "being in office already gives a candidate a great advantage"; "during his first year in office"; "during his first year in power"; "the power of the president"

power 27
Definition: supply the force or power for the functioning of; "The gasoline powers the engines"

[jeanne]

Feb 8, 2011 20:09:22 GMT 1 Bonobo said:

But why didn`t you do the same with powers? It also has multiple meanings. And I didn`t mean my power over the forum.

Which one did I mean, then?


Power 2
Definition: Ability to act, regarded as latent or inherent; the faculty of doing or performing something; capacity for action or performance; capability of producing an effect, whether physical or moral: potency; might; as, a man of great power; the power of capillary attraction; money gives power.

Power 3
Definition: Ability, regarded as put forth or exerted; strength, force, or energy in action; as, the power of steam in moving an engine; the power of truth, or of argument, in producing conviction; the power of enthusiasm.

Power 4
Definition: Capacity of undergoing or suffering; fitness to be acted upon; susceptibility; called also passive power; as, great power of endurance.

Power 5
Definition: The exercise of a faculty; the employment of strength; the exercise of any kind of control; influence; dominion; sway; command; government.

Power 6
Definition: The agent exercising an ability to act; an individual invested with authority; an institution, or government, which exercises control; as, the great powers of Europe; hence, often, a superhuman agent; a spirit; a divinity.

Power 7
Definition: A military or naval force; an army or navy; a great host.

Power 8
Definition: A large quantity; a great number; as, a power o/ good things.

Power 9
Definition: The rate at which mechanical energy is exerted or mechanical work performed, as by an engine or other machine, or an animal, working continuously; as, an engine of twenty horse power.

Power 10
Definition: A mechanical agent; that from which useful mechanical energy is derived; as, water power; steam power; hand power, etc.

Power 11
Definition: Applied force; force producing motion or pressure; as, the power applied at one and of a lever to lift a weight at the other end.

Power 12
Definition: A machine acted upon by an animal, and serving as a motor to drive other machinery; as, a dog power.

Power 13
Definition: The product arising from the multiplication of a number into itself; as, a square is the second power, and a cube is third power, of a number.

Power 14
Definition: Mental or moral ability to act; one of the faculties which are possessed by the mind or soul; as, the power of thinking, reasoning, judging, willing, fearing, hoping, etc.

Power 15
Definition: The degree to which a lens, mirror, or any optical instrument, magnifies; in the telescope, and usually in the microscope, the number of times it multiplies, or augments, the apparent diameter of an object; sometimes, in microscopes, the number of times it multiplies the apparent surface.

Power 16
Definition: An authority enabling a person to dispose of an interest vested either in himself or in another person; ownership by appointment.

Power 17
Definition: Hence, vested authority to act in a given case; as, the business was referred to a committee with power.

power 18
Definition: physical strength

power 19
Definition: possession of controlling influence; "the deterrent power of nuclear weapons"; "the power of his love saved her"; "his powerfulness was concealed by a gentle facade"

power 20
Definition: possession of the qualities (especially mental qualities) required to do something or get something done; "danger heightened his powers of discrimination"

power 21
Definition: a mathematical notation indicating the number of times a quantity is multiplied by itself

power 22
Definition: a state powerful enough to influence events throughout the world

power 23
Definition: a very wealthy or powerful businessman; "an oil baron"

power 24
Definition: one possessing or exercising power or influence or authority; "the mysterious presence of an evil power"; "may the force be with you"; "the forces of evil"

power 25
Definition: (physics) the rate of doing work; measured in watts (= joules/second)

power 26
Definition: (of a government or government official) holding an office means being in power; "being in office already gives a candidate a great advantage"; "during his first year in office"; "during his first year in power"; "the power of the president"

power 27
Definition: supply the force or power for the functioning of; "The gasoline powers the engines"

I think Power 14 is the closest to what you meant...or possibly Power 24.

p.s. What is the mean temperature of Krakow in February? (I forgot that meaning of "mean"!)

[Bonobo]

Feb 8, 2011 21:49:01 GMT 1 jeanne said:

I think Power 14 is the closest to what you meant...or possibly Power 24.
p.s. What is the mean temperature of Krakow in February? (I forgot that meaning of "mean"!)

yes.
Also 6.

The mean temperature this year or yearly?

Now about 6 degrees C.

[jeanne]

Feb 9, 2011 19:50:33 GMT 1 Bonobo said:

The mean temperature this year or yearly?

Now about 6 degrees C.

You can choose...I was only illustrating by my question the other meaning of mean. ;D

[justine26]

People are mean for so many different reasons! Often, they are mean just.... because. We love to feel better than the others. We feel sheer satisfaction when somebody fails to do something while we don't. We are often jealous of the others' happiness or money. I think it is very hard to change the human nature.

[uncltim]

Power number 1. seems to be missing. Hmmm. Perhaps it is the power of invisability???

[jeanne]

Feb 18, 2011 17:34:40 GMT 1 justine26 said:

I think it is very hard to change the human nature.

I agree! And since we can't change human nature, the only thing we can do is work on ourselves so that we don't become mean!

[jeanne]

Feb 18, 2011 21:49:20 GMT 1 uncltim said:

Power number 1. seems to be missing. Hmmm. Perhaps it is the power of invisability???

Hee-hee, must be! ;D