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Post by Bonobo on Mar 14, 2008 10:49:18 GMT 1
Let`s have a few language riddles.
Livio and other Polish people, this is mainly for you, can you find mistakes here? These are mistakes my students commit, either in speaking or writing. I have chosen the ones which give a funny meaning if distorted.
Some of them can be difficult, so native speakers are invited too to guess what my students had in mind. Remember, sometimes is is about the pronunciation.
1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weights.
2. My t-shirt is wearing a purple shirt. (pronunciation)
3. He has hurt his uncle.
4. Clowns are performing freaks at the circus.
5. What does Masid do on Sundays? He goes to the pregnant dog.
6. She raped him in a blanket.
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Post by jeanne on Mar 15, 2008 1:58:37 GMT 1
Let`s have a few language riddles. Livio, this is mainly for you, can you find mistakes here? These are mistakes my students commit, either in speaking or writing. I have chosen the ones which give a funny meaning if distorted. Some of them can be difficult, so native speakers are invited too to guess what my students had in mind. Remember, sometimes is is about the pronunciation. 1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weights. 2. My t-shirt is wearing a purple shirt. (pronunciation) 3. He has hurt his uncle. 4. Clowns are performing freaks at the circus. 5. What does Masid do on Sundays? He goes to the pregnant dog. 6. She raped him in a blanket. These are funny. I think I get all of them except number 5! But I'll let Livia have a try at them first. |
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Post by Bonobo on Mar 15, 2008 21:52:57 GMT 1
1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weights. 2. My t-shirt is wearing a purple shirt. (pronunciation) 3. He has hurt his uncle. 4. Clowns are performing freaks at the circus. 5. What does Masid do on Sundays? He goes to the pregnant dog. 6. She raped him in a blanket. These are funny. I think I get all of them except number 5! Take into account the forum`s blockade on taboo words.... It is very gentlemanly of you.... |
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Post by Bonobo on Mar 16, 2008 20:27:23 GMT 1
More language riddles from my students. I have the whole collection of them, whenever a blunder happens, I write it in books.
Can you guess where the mistakes are?
She has just crushed her car.
Yesterday we saw Star Wars - Episode Python Menace.
Rare planets and animal species are disappearing.
London was built my Romes.
Guess a job - Most of my clients are rich and I spend a lot of time in court. Student`s answer - tennis instructor. hahahahaahaha
We were surrounded by dangerous waiters on all sides so there was no way to escape.
Druids were learned priests and lovemakers, wise men and bards.
Now the one which was the hit of the year - hearing it I started RODL (rolling on my desk laughing).
PISSED TO MEET YOU! hahahaahahahahahaha (No abuse intended).
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livia
Just born
Posts: 121
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Post by livia on Mar 17, 2008 9:28:01 GMT 1
Let`s have a few language riddles. Livio and other Polish people, this is mainly for you, can you find mistakes here? 1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weight. 's' removed 2. My t-shirt is wearing a purple shirt. (pronunciation) this sentence doesn't make sense to me but I can't find the mistake 3. He has hurt his uncle. This one's perfectly correct to me! They went hunting and he has hurt his uncle, whom he took for a bear and shoot. Well, if you insist, while shooting he slipped and has hurt his own ankle as well... 4. Clowns are performing freaks at the circus. perfroming AS freaks, perhaps? 5. What does Masid do on Sundays? He goes to the pregnant dog. what's Masid? 6. She raped him in a blanket. wrapped? |
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Post by jeanne on Mar 17, 2008 11:31:17 GMT 1
My turn:
1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weight.
2. My teacher is wearing a purple shirt.
3.He has hurt his ankle.
4. Clowns are performing tricks at the circus.
5. I still have no idea! Here's a wild guess:
'What does my sister do on Sundays? She goes to the prayer
meeting.'
6. She wrapped him in a blanket.
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Post by Bonobo on Mar 17, 2008 21:23:54 GMT 1
Let`s have a few language riddles. Livio and other Polish people, this is mainly for you, can you find mistakes here? 1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weight. 's' removed 2. My t-shirt is wearing a purple shirt. (pronunciation) this sentence doesn't make sense to me but I can't find the mistake 3. He has hurt his uncle. This one's perfectly correct to me! They went hunting and he has hurt his uncle, whom he took for a bear and shoot. Well, if you insist, while shooting he slipped and has hurt his own ankle as well... 4. Clowns are performing freaks at the circus. perfroming AS freaks, perhaps? 5. What does Masid do on Sundays? He goes to the pregnant dog. what's Masid? 6. She raped him in a blanket. wrapped? Not bad. Actually, quite good. hahaha |
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Post by Bonobo on Mar 17, 2008 21:24:11 GMT 1
My turn: 1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weight. 2. My teacher is wearing a purple shirt. 3.He has hurt his ankle. 4. Clowns are performing tricks at the circus. 5. I still have no idea! Here's a wild guess: 'What does my sister do on Sundays? She goes to the prayer meeting.' 6. She wrapped him in a blanket. Yes. The forum`s blockade changed the bbitch into a pregnat dog. Masid is going to the bitchh/beach on Sundays. Livio, Masid is a character from a children textbook. PS. Hey, what about the second set of riddles I posted? |
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Post by jeanne on Mar 18, 2008 2:03:14 GMT 1
More language riddles from my students. I have the whole collection of them, whenever a blunder happens, I write it in books. Can you guess where the mistakes are? She has just crushed her car. Yesterday we saw Star Wars - Episode Python Menace. Rare planets and animal species are disappearing. London was built my Romes. Guess a job - Most of my clients are rich and I spend a lot of time in court. Student`s answer - tennis instructor. hahahahaahaha We were surrounded by dangerous waiters on all sides so there was no way to escape. Druids were learned priests and lovemakers, wise men and bards. Now the one which was the hit of the year - hearing it I started RODL (rolling on my desk laughing). PISSED TO MEET YOU! hahahaahahahahahaha (No abuse intended). She has just crashed her car. Yesterday we saw Star Wars - Episode Phantom Menace Rare plants and animal species are disappearing. London was built by Rome (or Romans?) Guess a job: Lawyer! (I think the tennis instructor answer was clever!) We were surrounded by dangerous waters on all sides so there was no way to escape. Druids: 'lovemakers' sounds good to me. What's wrong with that? And last, but not least: Pleased to meet you! |
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Post by Bonobo on Mar 18, 2008 22:30:40 GMT 1
More language riddles from my students. I have the whole collection of them, whenever a blunder happens, I write it in books. Can you guess where the mistakes are? She has just crushed her car. Yesterday we saw Star Wars - Episode Python Menace. Rare planets and animal species are disappearing. London was built my Romes. Guess a job - Most of my clients are rich and I spend a lot of time in court. Student`s answer - tennis instructor. hahahahaahaha We were surrounded by dangerous waiters on all sides so there was no way to escape. Druids were learned priests and lovemakers, wise men and bards. Now the one which was the hit of the year - hearing it I started RODL (rolling on my desk laughing). PISSED TO MEET YOU! hahahaahahahahahaha (No abuse intended). She has just crashed her car. Yesterday we saw Star Wars - Episode Phantom Menace Rare plants and animal species are disappearing. London was built by Rome (or Romans?) Guess a job: Lawyer! (I think the tennis instructor answer was clever!) We were surrounded by dangerous waters on all sides so there was no way to escape. Druids: 'lovemakers' sounds good to me. What's wrong with that? And last, but not least: Pleased to meet you! Yes, great! hahaha You seem very proficient in English! Where did you learn??? hahaha Jeanne, one quick question, from a lesson on superstitions: what do people do when they touch wood? |
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Post by Bonobo on Mar 27, 2008 21:38:37 GMT 1
You realise, of course, that probably many people use these phrases incorrectly and no one notices and no one stops to think if they are correct. It's only a picky English major like myself who would notice. The same in Polish. People make mistakes and life goes on. I think it is a problem afflicting all languages. Grammar mistakes are boring, though. The best are those lexical ones. I love looking through my lists of my students` malapropisms. A recent one, during a lesson on natural disasters: It is the first time she has seen such a volcanic erection. hahahahahaha I also love American ones about a swimmer who was revived by mouth to mouth insemination and about the rainbow which contained all colors of the rectum. hahahahahaha |
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Post by jeanne on Mar 27, 2008 22:48:30 GMT 1
The same in Polish. People make mistakes and life goes on. I think it is a problem afflicting all languages. Grammar mistakes are boring, though. The best are those lexical ones. I love looking through my lists of my students` malapropisms. A recent one, during a lesson on natural disasters: It is the first time she has seen such a volcanic erection. hahahahahaha I also love American ones about a swimmer who was revived by mouth to mouth insemination and about the rainbow which contained all colors of the rectum. hahahahahaha I love these! They are great and certainly NOT boring! As Bonobo would say hahahaha |
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Post by Bonobo on Apr 1, 2008 11:55:25 GMT 1
I have already put a few posts with English blunders by my students. I see there are more and more every day, and that requires a sepertae thread. Let`s gather the ones I already presented. 1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weights. 2. My t-shirt is wearing a purple shirt. (pronunciation) 3. He has hurt his uncle. 4. Clowns are performing freaks at the circus. 5. What does Masid do on Sundays? He goes to the pregnant dog. 6. She raped him in a blanket. She has just crushed her car. Yesterday we saw Star Wars - Episode Python Menace. Rare planets and animal species are disappearing. London was built my Romes. Most of my clients are rich and I spend a lot of time in court. (Student`s answer - tennis instructor hahahahaahaha) We were surrounded by dangerous waiters on all sides so there was no way to escape. Druids were learned priests and lovemakers, wise men and bards. Now the one which was the hit of the year - hearing it I started RODL (rolling on my desk laughing). PISSED TO MEET YOU! hahahaahahahahahaha (No abuse intended). 1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weight. 's' removed 2. My t-shirt is wearing a purple shirt. (pronunciation) this sentence doesn't make sense to me but I can't find the mistake 3. He has hurt his uncle. This one's perfectly correct to me! They went hunting and he has hurt his uncle, whom he took for a bear and shoot. Well, if you insist, while shooting he slipped and has hurt his own ankle as well... 4. Clowns are performing freaks at the circus. perfroming AS freaks, perhaps? 5. What does Masid do on Sundays? He goes to the pregnant dog. what's Masid? 6. She raped him in a blanket. wrapped? My turn: 1. She is going to join the gym to lose some weight. 2. My teacher is wearing a purple shirt. 3.He has hurt his ankle. 4. Clowns are performing tricks at the circus. 5. I still have no idea! Here's a wild guess: 'What does my sister do on Sundays? She goes to the prayer meeting.' 6. She wrapped him in a blanket. She has just crashed her car. Yesterday we saw Star Wars - Episode Phantom Menace Rare plants and animal species are disappearing. London was built by Rome (or Romans?) Guess a job: Lawyer! (I think the tennis instructor answer was clever!) We were surrounded by dangerous waters on all sides so there was no way to escape. Druids: 'lovemakers' sounds good to me. What's wrong with that? And last, but not least: Pleased to meet you! |
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Post by Bonobo on Apr 1, 2008 11:58:36 GMT 1
You realise, of course, that probably many people use these phrases incorrectly and no one notices and no one stops to think if they are correct. It's only a picky English major like myself who would notice. The same in Polish. People make mistakes and life goes on. I think it is a problem afflicting all languages. Grammar mistakes are boring, though. The best are those lexical ones. I love looking through my lists of my students` malapropisms. A recent one, during a lesson on natural disasters: It is the first time she has seen such a volcanic erection. hahahahahaha I also love American ones about a swimmer who was revived by mouth to mouth insemination and about the rainbow which contained all colors of the rectum. hahahahahaha I love these! They are great and certainly NOT boring! As Bonobo would say hahahaha |
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Post by Bonobo on Apr 1, 2008 12:03:41 GMT 1
Guess the mistakes here:
All my favourite things are in the chicken.
What can you do in Scotland?
I can see Lassie.
I love going to my grandma on holiday because I love her foot.
She had an accident. Sha was hit by a Star.
People were hatching noisily, while music was pouring out of the jukebox.
Ghosts are standing around the car, looking at the bride.
Bagingham Palace is a famous landmark.
She behaves like a dam.
He is wearing a liver jacket.
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Post by jeanne on Apr 2, 2008 23:36:04 GMT 1
Guess the mistakes here: All my favourite things are in the chicken. All my favourite things are in the kitchen. What can you do in Scotland? I can see a lassie. I love going to my grandma on holiday because I love her food. She had an accident. She was hit by a car. People were chatting noisily... Guests are standing around the car... Buckingham Palace is ... Sorry, no guess on this. He is wearing a leather jacket. |
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Post by Bonobo on Apr 4, 2008 21:45:35 GMT 1
Next round.
Can you find the mistakes in these?:
If I had a razor, I would shave my bird.
Napoleon lost a bottle at Waterloo.
I always go to chair on Sunday.
Ham is where the heart is.
Cavemen loved in caves.
A policeman must be brave to catch rubbers.
Although his uncle was bothering him, the dancer went on with the show.
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Post by jeanne on Apr 4, 2008 23:29:38 GMT 1
Next round. Can you find the mistakes in these?: If I had a razor, I would shave my bird. Napoleon lost a bottle at Waterloo. I always go to chair on Sunday. Ham is where the heart is. Cavemen loved in caves. A policeman must be brave to catch rubbers. Although his uncle was bothering him, the dancer went on with the show. Way too easy for a native speaker! I'll defer to others on these! |
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Post by Bonobo on Apr 5, 2008 19:00:55 GMT 1
Way too easy for a native speaker! I'll defer to others on these! I thought so. You are very generous, leaving it for others.  Would you like to try something more challenging? An English Olympics? Nothing special, the first stage only, high school level. You know, the one that Leslie got 2 points out of 5 or something. hahahahaha |
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Post by jeanne on Apr 5, 2008 20:21:14 GMT 1
Would you like to try something more challenging? An English Olympics? Nothing special, the first stage only, high school level. You know, the one that Leslie got 2 points out of 5 or something. hahahahaha I don't recall an English Olympics, but sure, I'll give it a try! |
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Post by Bonobo on Apr 5, 2008 22:29:31 GMT 1
Would you like to try something more challenging? An English Olympics? Nothing special, the first stage only, high school level. You know, the one that Leslie got 2 points out of 5 or something. hahahahaha I don't recall an English Olympics, but sure, I'll give it a try! Don`t you remember our old discussion about the "last night" issue with Les? |
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Post by jeanne on Apr 6, 2008 2:20:15 GMT 1
I don't recall an English Olympics, but sure, I'll give it a try! Don`t you remember our old discussion about the "last night" issue with Les? Hmmm...I do recall something now. Was it a last night/last evening controversy? |
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Post by Bonobo on Apr 14, 2008 21:22:23 GMT 1
Guess the mistakes here: All my favourite things are in the chicken. All my favourite things are in the kitchen. Yes! No, no, no! hahaha I see it must take an Englishman to do this....hahahaha Yes! Mmmm, yes and no. Star is a popular make of truck in Poland. The girl meant the truck, not realising she communicates the astral body. Yes! Yes! yes! hahahaha, the girl student meant "dame", in Polish "dama" is Lady. Yes! |
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Post by Bonobo on Apr 14, 2008 21:24:17 GMT 1
Hmmm...I do recall something now. Was it a last night/last evening controversy? Yes. |
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Post by Bonobo on Apr 14, 2008 21:39:44 GMT 1
For all who speak at least a little Polish, here is a list of blunders by Polish students.
Do you understand why these are wrong or funny? Bold type words signify proper names of characters from Polish literature.
Po zebraniu makulatury, sprzedaliśmy ją razem z panią.
Konopnicka żyła od urodzenia aż po śmierć.
Zenon kochał Elżbietę mimo, że był w ciąży z Justyną.
Ziębowicz wyrzucał sobie to, że popełnił samobójstwo.
Zachowanie dzieci dalece odbiega od rzeczywistości.
Zygier miał ospowatą sylwetkę kulturysty a jego wyłupiaste oczy ładnie przylegały do twarzy.
Będąc na drugim roku uniwersytetu, wybuchła wojna.
Kasia to moja siostra cioteczna, Jurek też.
Kochanowski czcił piękno kobiet i ludzi.
Reymont za napisanie "Chłopów" dostał nagrodę Wedla.
Po powrocie do domu Wokulski zamknął się w sobie i nikogo nie wpuszczał.
Jacek Soplica pochodził z biednej, niezamężnej szlachty.
Zbyszko na widok wroga zamknął się w przyłbicy.
Cześnik mówił barczystym głosem.
Jan Kochanowski zamieszkał w Czarnobylu.
W przyszłości chciałbym zostać poszukiwaczem skalpów.
Dziewczyna nad jeziorem doiła krowę. W wodzie odbijało się na odwrót.
Meteorolodzy dwa razy dziennie wychodzą, żeby sprawdzić swoje narządy.
Na obrazie Chełmońskiego widać chłopca jedzącego zupę i bociana.
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Post by Bonobo on May 13, 2008 20:49:52 GMT 1
What did students really want to say?
I am going to travel this somewhere.
Turtles are in danger because people destroy their legs.
Gratings from London.
He was flying a cat.
She is going to attend a soft defence class.
Mr Sheenan works like a sleeve.
Have you phoned your dog yet?
He likes stick and salt.
I like travelling because I like seeing movements of the past.
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Post by jeanne on May 13, 2008 23:51:03 GMT 1
What did students really want to say? I am going to travel this somewhere. I am going to tavel this summer. ...destroy their eggs. Greetings... ...buying a cat.  ...a self defense class. ...works like a slave. ...fed your dog yet? ...steak and salt??? ...monuments of the past. |
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Post by Bonobo on May 21, 2008 14:00:39 GMT 1
What did students really want to say? I am going to travel this somewhere. I am going to tavel this summer. ...destroy their eggs. Greetings... ...buying a cat. ...a self defense class. ...works like a slave. ...fed your dog yet? ...steak and salt??? ...monuments of the past. Almost perfect! Only 3 things need further correction... |
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Post by Bonobo on May 21, 2008 14:13:37 GMT 1
For all who speak at least a little Polish, here is a list of blunders by Polish students. Do you understand why these are wrong or funny? Bold type words signify proper names of characters from Polish literature. Translations: Po zebraniu makulatury, sprzedaliśmy ją razem z panią. After collecting scrap paper, we sold it together with our teacher. Konopnicka żyła od urodzenia aż po śmierć. Konopnicka lived from her birth till her death. Zenon kochał Elżbietę mimo, że był w ciąży z Justyną.Zenon loved Elizabeth although he was pregnant with Justyna. Ziębowicz wyrzucał sobie to, że popełnił samobójstwo. Ziębowicz reproached himself for commiting a suicide. Zachowanie dzieci dalece odbiega od rzeczywistości. Children`s behavious is far from reality. Zygier miał ospowatą sylwetkę kulturysty a jego wyłupiaste oczy ładnie przylegały do twarzy. Zygier had a pockmarked figure of a bodybuilder and his bulging eyes were sticking nicely to his face. Będąc na drugim roku uniwersytetu, wybuchła wojna. Being on the second year of studies, the war broke out. Kochanowski czcił piękno kobiet i ludzi. Kochanowski worshiped the beauty of women and people. Zbyszko na widok wroga zamknął się w przyłbicy. Zbyszko, seeing an enemy, shut himself in his visor. Cześnik mówił barczystym głosem. Czesnik was speaking in broad-shouldered voice. Dziewczyna nad jeziorem doiła krowę. W wodzie odbijało się na odwrót. The girl was milking a cow at the lake. In the water it was reflected the other way round. Meteorolodzy dwa razy dziennie wychodzą, żeby sprawdzić swoje narządy. Meteorologists go out twice a day to check their organs. Na obrazie Chełmońskiego widać chłopca jedzącego zupę i bociana. In the picture by Chełmoński we can see a boy eating soup and a stork. |
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Post by jeanne on May 22, 2008 1:32:33 GMT 1
Have you heard these English blunders?
Throw your mother from the train a kiss.
Throw the horse over the fence some hay.
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