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Post by Bonobo on Jan 14, 2016 23:03:50 GMT 1
A village female teacher was declared insane, so the charges were dropped and the court let her off. She had held and squeezed her 12-year-old student`s shoulders and neck in class. It looked like strangling. Surprisingly, the boy wasn`t naughty or sth.   |
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Post by pjotr on Jan 15, 2016 12:04:27 GMT 1
Dear Bonobo,
This is very terrible. It is physical and mental abuse of the boy. I have had bad experience with an evil, bullying female teacher in first class of primary school. It was a mental torture for me and hindered my development as a child and maybe teenage years. She was really nasty and mean. She put up my fellow class mates against me, who started bullying me. It has such a negative psychological impact on me that for years I didn't trust adults and other children. I became very introvert, closed and a solistic child. I know from other pupils, students or even adults who committed suicide after such experiences. I can't judge them, but I didn't followed them.
I went to another school the next year due to that children and my former friends (children) and other school children which had turned against me due to the behaviour and way of teaching of that witch. I have forgiven her, because that is a christian thing to do. I don't want to hate for the rest of my life. I have learned that these bullies and bad teachers have problems of their own and that it has nothing to do with you. But it maybe costed a few years of my life.
I hate child abuse in families, at schools and in public spaces (by relatives or strangers). Children must have a good start.
I didn't had a good start. I wish that circumstances as with this Polish 12 year old pupil and my case in the seventies could have been avoided.
I hope that this boy will not be damaged for his school and study career. I hope that this teacher will be disciplinary punished. I hope that she is fired.
Cheers,
Pieter
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Post by jeanne on Jan 15, 2016 17:36:01 GMT 1
Dear Bonobo, This is very terrible. It is physical and mental abuse of the boy. I have had bad experience with an evil, bullying female teacher in first class of primary school. It was a mental torture for me and hindered my development as a child and maybe teenage years. She was really nasty and mean. She put up my fellow class mates against me, who started bullying me. It has such a negative psychological impact on me that for years I didn't trust adults and other children. I became very introvert, closed and a solistic child. I know from other pupils, students or even adults who committed suicide after such experiences. I can't judge them, but I didn't followed them. Pieter, What a horrible way to start your school years! Hearing that makes me so angry. Perhaps, though, this ordeal and suffering is what has led you to be such a sensitive and caring person with compassion for others. Because you have experienced suffering, it is easier for you to relate to others who are also suffering (for whatever reason they suffer). It's also good that you have forgiven her, and have not let hate poison your life. One of the reasons I chose to be a Special Education tutor rather than a classroom teacher (who makes more money than a tutor)is because working in a "support" position, I could almost act as a "buffer" between struggling students and their classroom teachers. Often classroom teachers did not really understand the learning difficulties of the special ed. students and would become frustrated with them. I would be there to advocate for them with the teacher and work as a support system for them. Often, the students would breathe a sigh of relief when it was time for me to come to their classrooms and they saw me walk through the door! Also, I made it a point to keep an eye on other students in the classes who may not have had learning disabilities, but who may have needed a friendly helping hand dealing with difficult classroom situations. Probably both your teacher and the teacher in this post would not have acted in the ways they did if there had been another adult in the classroom! Jeanne |
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Post by Bonobo on Jan 15, 2016 23:05:55 GMT 1
I hope that this boy will not be damaged for his school and study career. I hope that this teacher will be disciplinary punished. I hope that she is fired. Cheers, Pieter Currently she is suspended and as I said, charges were dropped as the examination had proved she might be mental. With such history, she has no chance to find employment in education for the next 10 years. |
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Post by pjotr on Jan 16, 2016 0:38:52 GMT 1
Dear Jeanne,
Yes, it was a horrible way to start my primery school years! Since I had a wonderful kindergarten preschool education. I was a playful, yet somehow individualistic child. Loved to climb trees, play in on the farm fields near our neighbourhood and at the construction sites next to our home. My mother later felt guilty that she sent me to that school. Maybe I was a little bit different and still a little bit childish. Maybe I should have gone one year later to primary school. Like in Poland where they start later than in Western-Europe.
You are right, this ordeal and suffering made me a person who later stood up against other bullies who bullied other students at highschool. I wasn't bullied there anymore, but still a loner. It took me some time to become sociable. Scouting, rowing, playing hockey and soccer and tennis made me a little bit more social. For the rest I liked to be alone and drawed and painted (water colours) a lot and read more than other children and teenagers. Youth literature, youth encyclopedia (and late the adult encyclopedia of my father), and about history and politics. I was different than other kids, because I was interested in history, art history, architecture, politics and nature when I was 12. I considered other children to be childish or annoying sometimes. I was early mental mature, but not early physically mature.
I liked to make long walks, cycle a lot (for hours over our lovely Peninsula), swim, surf and in all that activity I was able to forget a lot of things and lose some energy (and rage, Puberty rage). Thank god the house (home was quiet) and I could get some rest there. I remember that I got some medicine from the Ukrainian-American husband of my American aunt. These medicine made me more quiet. It was allowed in the USA and not in the Netherlands, so we used it in secret. It helped me in those years.
Knowledge of history and the suffering of others (I read about, watched and witnessed in the bullying or attack on other people) also made me more sensitive and a caring person with compassion for others. But I have always the feeling that I could do more, and don't do enough and that I am a sinner. It is true that when you have experienced suffering yourself, it is easier to relate to others who are also suffering (for whatever reason they suffer). I had to forgive, because that is what I was tought in the childrens section of the Roman-Catholic church, where we worked with a children bible and due to what I learned in mass and reading the bible.
I had to forgive her, because I didn't know what had made her that way. I could not hate her, because I did not know what others had done to her, what mental instability or illness she might have been suffering from or what other deviation she was suffering from herself. I could not continue to hate her and that school, because that hate was damaging to myself too. And I remember from that the priest once said during mass; "Love they enemy..." It was hard for me to understand for me back than at the moment, but later I understood when I read it in the bible, a couple of times and started contemplating about it.
Matthew 5:44; the 44th verse of the fifth chapter of the Gospel of Matthew in the New Testament reads:
"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;"
Matthew 5:44 is the 44th verse of the fifth chapter of the Gospel of Matthew in the New Testament and is part of the Sermon on the Mount. This is the second verse of the final antithesis, that on the commandment to Love thy neighbour as thyself. Jesus has just stated that some had taught that one should "hate your enemies" and in this verse he rejects this view.
Yes, I have forgiven her, and have not let hate poison my life.
It is wonderful that you chose to be a Special Education tutor rather than a classroom teacher. You probably have saved lives, because many people who have been bullied become suicidal, have mental illnesses (depressions, psychoses or other mental illnesses) or maybe worse become terrible bullies themselves, because they copy cat the bully methods of their bulliers and often become better bulliers themselves. That's why the vicious cycle has to be stopped. I fought back and once beat up a terrible bully kid myself. I am not proud of that, but I lost my temper. He stopped bullying. Thank god I never became a bully, but helped and defended other kids that were bullied later on. Stopped the bullying where I could. Defending unpopular kids in class and etc.
For these kids who have a hard time in class you were a guardian angel, someone who cares about them. All the sport, the walking, running, cycling, drawing, painting and reading helped me back then to coop with things. Later I loved pop music, rock music and to go out as a teenager. In the Netherlands we could go out earlier than in the USA and drink earlier. So I went out, danced all night, drank some beers, and had to cycle a whole lot of miles back home, so that alcohol got neutralised. And I always drank water and coca cola inbetween. The drinking was dangerous though, because with alcohol you can forget and be a little bit anesthetized.Thank got there were no drugs over there in the province back then. Today it's crazy, even in the little towns and on the country kids can get cocaine, extacy, speed and other hard drugs.
Like I have written on the other forum I lived at the Dutch coast, a mile from the sea and the dunes, and a few miles from the sea harbour, fishing harbour and the ship-building yard. It was a tough town of rough people. Dock yard workers, construction workers, fishermen, sailors, commercial navy people, Navy people (we had a Dutch navy harbour also in our town) and a sea ferry with England (connection with Dover). Container ships, large oil tankers, tug boats with heavy engines and at night the sound of the mist horns of the light towers. Experienced a lot of storms and sometimes spring tide and Storm surges.
The other people on that Peninsula in the province I lived in were farmers, small town people and just provincial folks. Both my parents came from large city families, and our Dutch and Polish families were spread over the Netherlands, Poland and the USA, Denmark, Belgium and France (the distant family). We were like you say import people, people who came from elsewhere. And my mother wasn't Dutch, so that also made us different in that provincial harbour town. There were not that many Poles in the Netherlands back then. I remember that we knew one other older Polish lady who lived in a green wooden house back then. Later there was Polish mass in our Roman-Catholic church in a little side section with glass doors. We went to the Dutch mass, because my father and my sister and I didn't spoke nor understood Polish unfortunately. My mother had chosen to integrate and assimilate as far as you could. Being different and alien was not easy in the province, in the country back then. You didn't had that mass migration and a mixed multi-cultural population like today. I sometimes wonder if that bullying had to do with that I was different, because I was half Polish?
Later I experienced racism on the final years of the primary school against brown and black children, by 'these white trash' (trayler trash) redneck (hill billy) bully kids. Gangs of these kids wore jean jackets with the Southern Confederate Flag with the Image of Elvis Presley on it and they called themselves, the Rebels. They hit on anybody who was different, but they didn't dare to attack me, because I was different and strange and they didn't dare to attack me. I liked alternative music for that time. The Police, U2, Kiss, Black Sabath, David Bowie, Blondy and the Pretenders. They weren't mainstream in the seventies yet, and you were different if you liked them.
The primary school teacher back then acted tough against racism, discrimination and bullying. It was not the same school with the whitch teacher who hurt me, but another school in another town.
Your "support" position must have been so important to these kids, your role as a "buffer" between struggling students and their classroom teachers was saving them from mental suffering, nightmares at home and fear for school. Maybe my classroom teachers did not really understand the learning difficulties of me, because I was very playfull and maybe not focussed enough on the stuff I had to learn. I can totally understand that for the pupils it would be a sigh of relief when it was time for me to come to their classrooms and they saw me walk through the door! I can tell you that I have had extra lessons of very nice special teachers for 'difficult pupils like me who were different, for whatever reason'. I was easily distracted, couldn't concentrate with a lot of noise and activity, and always have to focus very hard on what I am doing.
That's why I like to be alone or in small teams or groups. I dislike masses, chaotic situations and a lot of unintentional noise. My work is a contradictio in terminis for me, because it is everything I have avoided in my past life. I studied at art school and art academies in Amsterdam, the Hague and Arnhem. The most happy period in my life was when I was an artist during the late nineties and had my own studio where I painted. No distraction, no other people, just being focussed on my work, my paintings and choosing when I want to see someome. Loved to do shopping in the supermarket, loved to go to the pub, loved to go dancing with my girlfriends in discotheques and artist parties. Loved to have a girlfriend at home ( I am single now). But I am not fond of the editorial room or the hectic dynamism of my radio and tv station (to be honest).
People, people and their noise and talking and unrest. I love quiet. I love mindfullness, I love meditation, I like praying, I like church and I like the mass.
Cheers,
Pieter
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Post by jeanne on Jan 17, 2016 1:09:01 GMT 1
Pieter, My goodness...your post turned into a wonderful well-written memoir of your younger years! I did enjoy reading it! It sounds to me from your description of yourself (...that you prefer to work alone...do not like noise and confusion...)that perhaps you are an introvert. If so, that is not a bad thing. Introverts are deep-thinkers and feel things on a deeper level than others. They also are more observant of others and are good listeners. My whole life I wondered what made me seem "different" from most of the people I went to school with and worked with. I felt perhaps that something was "wrong" with me, and then I figured out that I am an introvert. Since I figured that out, I am embracing it and enjoying it. It has given me tremendous confidence in myself that I truly do have something valuable to contribute to society.It's great to feel I can be myself and not have to try and be something or someone I am not!  |
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Post by pjotr on Jan 17, 2016 5:36:28 GMT 1
Dear Jeanne,
My whole life I wanted to be extravert, dynamic, sociable and easy going. So, I tried hard to be like that. But like you say, I am an introvert, who managed to become a little bit more extravert so that I am able to communicate. The art world (art academy, exhibitions, the social life of the art scene, art pubs, art clubs, art galleries, art museums) and journalism (the Radio and Television) and my work as a Desk Top Publisher for the local hospital have helped me a lot to integrate and assimilate more in and with the society and to communicate better with fellow compatriots/citizens.
I have learned a lot about life, about human beings, exchange, communication, history, culture, art, politics, and maybe a little bit of didactical stuff, psychology, sociology, economics and anthropology. History, art and politics are my fields of expertise and education. That has been of use in my profession with Radio and Television.
Cheers,
Pieter
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