Polish females married into foreign country

[Bonobo]

Each week I can read at least one interview with a Polish woman who visited as a tourist or settled as a wife in a foreign country and wants to share her impressions. Funny that I didn`t get this idea of sharing their shares here.

Tunisia, an Arab country in northern Africa. I learnt that Tunisians love cats more than dogs. Wow!

www.onet.pl/styl-zycia/onetkobieta/polka-w-tunezji-ten-kraj-toczy-biurokracja/1l2yx1c,2b83378a


ONET WOMAN NEWS
Polish woman in Tunisia. "Life here is not a fairy tale, relying on a drink on the beach"
- We must not forget that 2015 was a very turbulent year for Tunisian tourism - reminds Natalia, who has been living with her husband in Tunisia for over a year. - It started in March with a shootout at the National Bardo Museum in Tunis, where more than 20 tourists were killed and 50 injured. Another shooting took place in Sousse in the summer, where I live now. The country is safe today, but it faces another problem: the tourism industry has been hit hard by the pandemic.

Anna Frydrychewicz
9.6 thousand
January 8, 2022, 08:46

Natalia says that living in Tunisia is not a fairy tale, it has both light and dark sidesNatalia says that life in Tunisia is not a fairy tale, it has its bright and dark sides - Arch. priv.

- I live in a tourist town, where the inhabitants are used to foreigners, fair hair and a different complexion - explains Natalia. - However, where my husband comes from, I feel strange. People are watching me curiously because I'm a blonde with blue eyes
It is worth remembering that in Tunisia there is a very visible economic gap between its wealthy people and the rest of society. There is virtually no middle class
French is spoken in Tunisia. Natalia knows the language very well and is learning Arabic. For now, it can handle simple communication in a store, on the street or at the gym. Anyway, he points out that the Tunisians are helpful

Natalia admits that the most annoying thing for her in this country is ... bureaucracy. It is not a myth that in order to get one simple document here, you need to be patient
You can find more on the main page of Onet.pl
Natalia has been living in Tunisia for over a year. In a country where unemployment remains very high (around 15%) and social inequalities are visible to the naked eye, life is not as simple as it seems to Europeans spending their holidays in this region and dreaming of romance.

- European women often imagine that it is one big fairy tale - says Natalia about the ties between Polish women and Tunisians. - But it happens that wives run away from their husbands here, leaving their children because they are beaten. I also know the story of a woman who was left by a Tunisian with three children and left for Europe.
...
Natalia assures, however, that she is friends with Polish women who have lived in Tunisia for over 20 years and are happy in their marriage. Because everything depends on a person, not only on the environment in which he was brought up .


Natalia met her husband during a training session in Dubai, where she worked as a flight attendant in "Emirates" for six years. Hazem is also Tunisian and comes from a Muslim family, although he himself is a non-believer .

- When the pandemic started and tourism collapsed, the flights ended and our contracts were not renewed - says Natalia. - We had to decide where we wanted to move.

- My husband's dream was to start a business in his own country. So we came to Tunisia over a year ago.

Hazem managed to open a cafe, and Natalia found a job for herself, which, as she admits, in a country where unemployment reaches 15%, is almost a miracle. Knowledge of the language and experience in the tourism industry helped. She started out as a copywriter, today she works in marketing. And he praises this independence very much.

Palm trees on one of the streets of SoussePalm trees on one of the streets of Sousse - Arch. priv.
Natalia points out that living in Tunisia is not an eternal vacation.

- There are pros and cons, and we don't hang out on the beach with a drink in hand, as some people imagine - he laughs. - We're working hard. And life in this sunny land can be tedious.

And she admits that the most annoying thing for her is ... bureaucracy. He points out that it is not a myth that in order to get one simple document here, you need to be patient.

- My husband and I got married in the Seychelles, we were issued with a marriage certificate there - he says. - In Poland, we did not have the slightest problem with registering the union, it took one day. In Tunisia, we first drove 1.5 hours. to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Tunis, but it turned out that the official had misled us and we brought the wrong documents. The next time we were sent back to the Polish embassy. There, we were again told that the marriage was registered in Poland, but we concluded it in the Seychelles, so the embassy cannot do anything for us ...

Fortunately, it turned out that Natalia's husband has a cousin who is an official in one of the ministries. After submitting the documents directly to him, it was possible to register the marriage.

- I had similar "hits" with the resident card - he recalls. - First, I got a temporary one for three months. When I reported to the police for a permanent card, the officer calmly told me that she was not ready yet. I was appalled. I say: how? After all, my card will expire in a moment. And he said: are you going somewhere? No? Then come back in a month .

Natalia admits that practically all official issues are complicated, including tax settlements. That is why Hazem, who is more comfortable in these administrative complexities, takes care of them.

Tourists are attracted by the unusual landscapes of TunisiaTourists are attracted by the extraordinary landscapes of Tunisia - Arch. priv.
French is spoken in Tunisia. Natalia knows the language very well and is learning Arabic. For now, it can handle simple communication in a store, on the street or at the gym. Anyway, he points out that the Tunisians are helpful.

- I live in a tourist town, where the inhabitants are used to foreigners, fair hair, and a different complexion - he explains. - However, where my husband comes from, I feel strange. People are watching me curiously because I'm a blonde with blue eyes. Of course, my husband's family received me well, they are quite open, but they had a "foretaste" of Slavic women, because my husband's brother's wife is Czech.

Natalia points out that her parents were not against her daughter's relationship with a man who comes from an Arab country.

- Dad made the rule that it was my personal matter, but at the beginning my mother was skeptical about our relationship - admits Natalia. - She was a little panicked that I was marrying an Arab. However, I would not enter into a relationship with a man whom I did not get to know well, whose family did not host me. We've known each other for seven years.

- I know such relationships "at a distance" - he adds. - Polish women make friends via the Internet or during holidays in Tunisia. But they have no chance to get to know their future husband better. This then results in various dramas, because on the spot it turns out that living together is different from talking via Skype ... And some cultural differences are insurmountable.

Natalia explains that at the beginning it was hard for her to get used to the style in which her husband showed her affection. She calls it "culture shock," and says that she took Hazem with distance for a while.

“I was still convinced that he came from a different culture. Hazem showered flowers on me, confessed love on my third date. He was aggressively pouring out his feelings on me - he laughs. - I wasn't used to it. When we started getting to know each other, he explained to me that this is what Tunisians are for women: they are sensitive, attentive, they talk about emotions.

But Natalia admits that they are also ... temperamental. Though her husband is hard to upset, once he gets angry, he becomes nervous.

Natalia during one of the tours around TunisiaNatalia during one of the tours around Tunisia - Arch. priv.
When asked about the position of women in Tunisian families, Natalia says that they "rule". Tunisians raise children, run the house, and make important decisions. Of course, there are restrictions imposed by religion, but the country appears to be one of the more liberal Arab countries.

"The situation of women in Dubai seems more complicated to me," she adds. - A Muslim woman cannot marry an infidel. This law has been abolished in Tunisia, although it is not in line with religion. But Tunisia is not a religious law. First and foremost, the constitution applies. Tunisia produces its own beer, fig vodka, date liqueur. You will find very conservative families where the husband restricts his wife's contacts with other men, but there are also very liberal families.

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It is also worth remembering that in Tunisia there is a very visible economic gap between its wealthy people and the rest of society.

- There is virtually no middle class. Converting the local earnings to the Polish currency, we can assume that the lowest domestic earnings in Tunisia are PLN 500 - says Natalia. "It's hard to imagine a life at such a rate, right?" Living on an average level, so that you can go out for dinner once a week, rent a flat and have something to put in a pot, it costs about PLN 1,500 per month.

- We must not forget that 2015 was a very turbulent year for Tunisian tourism - reminds Natalia - It started in March with a shooting at the National Bardo Museum in Tunis, where over 20 tourists died and 50 were injured. Another shooting took place in Sousse in the summer, where I live now. Almost 40 tourists (mainly from Great Britain) were killed then, and the same number were injured.

- Before the attacks, Bou Jafaar beach was one of the most popular tourist spots in the city, the whole area was teeming with life. There were many cafes, hotels and restaurants on the coast. Now it is a place visited only by Tunisians who live nearby. Since the terrorist attacks, the entire area has been deserted - tourists have stopped coming to Tunisia, hotels have closed, people have lost their jobs, and Bou Jafaar beach has become a place for walks and baths for the poorer part of the population.

After the terrorist attack in 2015, the hotels were deserted. The photo shows an abandoned hotel in SousseAfter the terrorist attack in 2015, the hotels were deserted. The photo shows an abandoned hotel in Sousse - Arch. priv.
What is the situation today? It's safe in Tunisia. As the country's tourism revived a bit, the coronavirus pandemic hit the ground and gave local tourism businesses a hard time.

- I remember last summer, when I was sitting on the beach, I noticed the lack of European tourists - some gave up holidays from Tunisia at all due to restrictions, some were forced to stay in the hotel, without the possibility or willingness to take advantage of the charms of Tunisian cities - he says Natalie.

Cats rule in Tunisia
Natalia, who has two cats, says that Tunisians are real cat lovers. Dogs are treated much worse here, there are also no shelters for animals.

- Dogs usually run alone, far from the city. Sometimes someone kicks them or throws a stone at them. Cats are treated better, residents ensure that they have food and water available.

Tunisians love cats. The photo shows Natalia's fold petTunisians love cats. The photo shows Natalia's fold pet - Arch. priv.
Natalia tells the story of a cat that recently got stuck in her town behind the bars of a building owned by a telecommunications company. A lot of posts appeared under the Facebook post, the action "free the cat" was launched.

- Recently, my husband and I went in the car. Hazem stopped all traffic to save the little kitten - he adds. - The neighbor who lives next door presents food to the cats every day, which nobody here sterilizes. Tunisian purrs are treated with true love.

Tomato sauce and potatoes
What do you eat in Tunisia? Most of the dishes are based on tomato sauce.

- You buy a ready-made concentrate and you can fry such a paste by adding onions and, for example, chicken. You can also add pasta, rice, vegetables, couscous - whatever you prefer. Tunisians eat such dishes with bread. My husband does not like Polish cuisine, so I sometimes cook various strange mixtures of potatoes with this tomato sauce. "Stews" come out of this.

The basis of Tunisian cuisine is tomato sauceThe basis of Tunisian cuisine is tomato sauce - Arch. priv.
Natalia says that as non-denominational people, neither she nor her husband celebrate Christmas. However, Christmas has become so commercial that it has even reached Tunisia. This year, a Christmas market was organized in the city where they live, where you could even buy Polish gingerbread.

- Many hotels offer Christmas Eve dinner or Christmas dinner - says Natalia. - You could buy a plastic Christmas tree in the shop next to my housing estate. Sometimes I don't feel like I live in Tunisia ...

What is difficult for Natalia to live in this country? He quickly replies that not only bureaucracy, but also dirty streets.

Natalia and Hazem, a Polish-Tunisian coupleNatalia and Hazem, Polish-Tunisian couple - Arch. priv.
- Now I'm used to the fact that rubbish is everywhere here. Every day you don't pay attention to it anymore. But when I was on vacation in Poland and I saw that the streets were clean, I was shocked when I returned to Tunisia. Here you enter the city and plastic bags "fly" everywhere. There are also no baskets where you could throw away bottles, papers and cigarettes.

Natalia says that she loves the sun and warmth in Tunisia the most. He also appreciates the approach to life represented by the inhabitants of this country.

- They often "make poverty", but they are nice to you, no one is angry. They are always smiling and willing to help. This is a real phenomenon.

Anna Frydrychewicz
Date Created: January 8, 2022, 08:46



Her photo story here
www.instagram.com/polkawtunezji/?utm_source=ig_embed

[Bonobo]

This Poless married into Israel. Check the original article for loads of photos.

podroze.onet.pl/ciekawe/polka-opowiada-o-swoim-zyciu-w-izraelu-polska-jest-bardziej-religijnym-krajem-niz/l4cvdh3

"I went for 2 months and I live for 4 years" - Kasia tells about her life in Israel
MARTA ABRAMCZYK Jan 14, 08:40 am

The world's vows have docked in Israel. I virtually visited a Muslim, Catholic, Orthodox and secular wedding. It's time for a Jewish wedding! I am taking you to Tel Aviv, where my interlocutor - Kasia Lavi found love, peace and happiness. She told me about her life, cultural differences and most importantly - her wedding.
A Polish woman tells about her life in Israel: Poland is a more religious country than IsraelPhoto: Nitzan Gur / Onet
A Polish woman tells about life in Israel

The heroine came to Israel by accident, on vacation. She planned to stay for two months
She met her partner - an Israeli - through social media
Most Israelis are not so religious as to subordinate the union to religion, they approach life liberally
A lot of guests are invited to the wedding - all famous people - even those with whom you do not maintain close contact on a daily basis
Wedding costumes of guests are different than in Poland: in the case of women they are very "club" clothes, they can be tight dresses, long brocade pants or loose in the case of day weddings. Men very rarely wear suits
A wedding is more like dancing in a club with a DJ. There is no bellwether, no games
There are no alcohol bottles on the tables. This alcohol is usually poured by waiters
You can find more such stories on the Onet.pl home page

Kasia Lavi comes from Lublin, although she spent a long time in Warsaw, to which she could not become attached. Contrary to most of my interlocutors - she did not immediately fall in love with the country where she now lives. She needed time to go crazy about Israel enough to give up her current life in Poland for him.

Marta Abramczyk: What brought you to Israel?

Kasia Lavi: Coincidence. This was the first time I was on vacation in Israel. Honestly, I wasn't particularly thrilled about this country. But I love people and myself a lot, since I live here. I feel that I can live my full life here.

It's a completely different country, different culture and religion ...

I am a very open person, but well organized at the same time. Before leaving, I did a short research, prepared everything that was needed. I felt no fear at any stage.

It was the first time you were on vacation in Israel and as you admitted - this country did not make a great impression on you. Despite everything, you decided to come back to it, what's more - to live. What prompted you to move?

In Poland, I had depressive states, which I did not treat by a psychiatrist, I did not know what their causes were. On the one hand, my life was arranged, on the other hand, I had no energy for anything, which caused me to stagnate. The same routine every day, work, gym, home, I didn't even want to go out with my friends.

In January, I was able to go to Israel for my vacation again. There, despite not very high temperatures, the sun was shining all the time.

I felt that I was alive, that I had energy, that the world was at my feet. I never thought the sun could have had such an effect on me. I realized that the weather was the cause of my bad mood

After returning to Poland, I got the opportunity to work remotely and bought a one-way ticket. Why Israel and not Spain or Italy? Because it was still warmer there and I remembered that sense of omnipotence. I had no plan for how long to stay there. At the outset, I rented an apartment for 2 months and got a tourist visa.

What do you do in Israel on a daily basis?

I am a computer graphic designer by education. I am currently working at an American television company based in Israel. I deal with illustrations, animations, marketing graphics, etc.

LOVE
How did you meet your partner, now your husband?

We met through social media during my third visit to Israel. My husband took me to a sunset picnic for the first meeting.

Which ultimately made you move to Israel. Love for the sun or a boyfriend?

Israel is a complicated country, you have to get to know it first to love it. I think that initially just love for the sun would not be enough. I was thinking of traveling further, maybe going to Spain. It was then that I met my husband and that was the end of my journeys. Two months have turned into almost 4 years.

Weren't you afraid to get involved with a foreigner?

At all! In the past, I have had partners from other countries, I find such relationships fascinating.

Judaism obeys the rules of relationships, housing and cohabitation before marriage. How was it with you? Have you waited a long time for an engagement and then for a wedding?

Most Israelis are not so religious as to subordinate the union to religion. After all, they are very warm and family people, so they get engaged and get married quickly. I myself waited a relatively "long" time, almost 3 years. Already on the first day of my acquaintance, I knew that one day I would say "yes".

I noticed that in Muslim countries the engagement itself is a bigger and more important event. What is it like for Jews?

I think the pattern is very similar to the European one - the wedding is the most important event, although sometimes engagements are also celebrated.

How do Jewish engagements look like, how do they differ from Polish ones?

Israelis approach important events with a flourish. Engagements are usually very well thought out, organized in a beautiful place, sometimes in large numbers, sometimes intimately for two.

What does your family say to all of this? Weren't they scared that you are going to the other end of the world?

I think that my family, knowing me, knew that one day I would end up on the "other side of the world" (although in fact we are less than four hours flying). The most important thing for them is my happiness.

What is your contact with your in-laws, brought up in a completely different culture?

I love them like my own family, I really like their company, and they support us very much. I cannot imagine my life without family meetings.

After three years of waiting, Kasia got married! The Polish woman reveals what a wedding and a wedding in Israel look like.

WEDDING
What did you have to arrange to get married in Israel?

It is not possible to get married in Israel. We got married first in Cyprus, then organized a wedding and a wedding in a Jewish Reformed style in Israel. The documents are: a certificate of marital status, a copy of a birth certificate, a passport and confirmation of official fees.

Ola from Morocco told me that she had to see a gynecologist before the wedding. Did you also deal with any "strange" formalities in Israel?

Traditionally, Jewish women should make a mikvah, i.e. immerse themselves in water, up to 4 days before the wedding. I missed it. However, we wrote down a ketube (something similar to a marriage contract), which, however, in our case is not officially recognized by the rabbinate or the state.

Since it is not possible to get married in Israel, what do such traditional Jewish people look like?

This truly traditional wedding can be seen in Orthodox communities. The rest of the Jews usually get married in a traditional style mixed with a Western style - and that's what I will describe here.

I am curious what is happening at this "mixed up" wedding?

The wedding takes place in the same place as the wedding reception. It can be a garden, it can be a wedding hall or a room with a garden. Weddings are held six days a week - from Sunday to Friday until sunset.

The party begins with the distribution of starters to the guests. The groom says hello to friends and family, and the bride usually locks up and waits until the ceremony takes place. There are a lot of guests, all famous people are invited - even those with whom you did not have close contact.

The wedding begins with gathering guests around the chupa - a small gazebo with a canopy symbolizing the future home, where the rabbi who will conduct the ceremony is waiting.

That's chupa ! I've seen her on the "Unorthodox" series, but I have no idea what traditions go with her.

First, the groom, led by his parents or other relatives, enters the chuppah. He is wearing a suit and a kippah (aka skullcap).

There is no typical wedding music here, the bride and groom choose their favorite song beforehand.

After a while the bride comes in, dressed in a Western style, in white with a veil, also in the company of close people - these, however, leave her halfway.

They don't take her to the proverbial "altar"?

No. When the close family is under the canopy, the groom goes towards the bride.

Jews of European origin (Ashkenazi) have a habit of saying a short prayer and covering the face of their chosen one with a veil - although Jews of other origins have also adopted this practice now, as it is quite a romantic and intimate moment for two. When the young people approach the chuppah together, the ceremony begins.

A ceremony led by a rabbi?

Yes. The way of conducting it depends on the rabbi, it can be serious, it can be funny. Some show the guests a signed ketube . Traditionally, a rabbi should give seven blessings, but now three or four are being selected so as not to unnecessarily prolong the whole celebration. Sometimes the groom puts on a talit , or a large scarf, when praying.

Wine is served to the couple twice, and the first glass should be given to the bride by a person other than the groom, such as the mother.

The second time, it is the groom who serves the wine, revealing the veil to the woman

When it comes to donating wedding rings, traditionally only the groom puts it on the finger of the chosen one, but now she can also put it on the partner. Wedding rings are usually simple, gold, without stones.

After putting on the wedding rings, the groom recites a verse that briefly tells about the need to remember Jerusalem, and then breaks a glass prepared on the ground with his foot - this is to symbolize the commemoration of the destruction of the temple. When the glass is broken, loud music is heard and everyone congratulates the bride and groom shouting " mazal tov! ".

Is there a place for European accents at Israeli weddings?

Much depends on the origin of the Jews. Moroccan Jews arrange, for example, henna for women. My husband is Ashkenazi, that is, of European origin - so our traditions are very similar.

There are hen and stag parties. A wedding hall and all kinds of services are booked.

So what were your preparations for the Polish-Israeli wedding?

Our wedding took place in a pandemic time, so it was already problematic, and adding a mixed wedding and formalities, it made a huge mess.

We were supposed to get married in October 2020, but due to the lockdown, we were forced not only to change the date to June 2021, but also to the wedding hall. There are many weddings in Israel, and during the coronavirus, where everyone suddenly had to reschedule, it was difficult to find a date and place.


In spite of the difficult situation, did you manage to attract guests from Poland?

We knew that due to the situation we could not count on my presence, so we found a small wedding hall with a garden. After all, after a long struggle with the authorities, I managed to get an entry permit for my mother and sisters.

You set a date, you found the right place, you knew your loved ones would come. What happened next?

Our wedding took place on Friday. Preparations start early - at 5 am, so to save time, we have already organized a wedding session in advance (usually it is on the same day before the arrival of guests).

For preparation, a hotel room or other accommodation is rented. In my case, which is unusual in Israel, I had bridesmaids - my friends living here, so I needed a whole apartment to rent. After I had my hair and makeup done, there was time for a short celebration and photos with my friends.

The wedding itself was very similar to the way I described earlier, although the entry of the groom was preceded by my bridesmaids. Then I appeared. There were blessings, breaking a glass and smashing tov together ! I reported the whole thing on zoom to the rest of my friends and family from outside Israel.

And what about the wedding dress, makeup, hairstyle? Has something surprised you?

The canons are very European! The dress and veil are white. Israeli women are not afraid of bold solutions, modern cuts, although I still opted for a very traditional cut.

During the wedding, the bride usually changes into a second, lighter dress. The prices of the dresses are shocking, which is why they are most often borrowed.

Israeli makeup has been very popular in the world for some time, although probably not many people know that this is where the "luminous" look, as I call it, was propagated. The complexion should be illuminated, eyebrows puffed up and in a natural shade, the eye in light tones with long eyelashes. Despite the large amount of cosmetics, the whole thing looks very light.


When it comes to the hairstyle, there are three most common hairstyles - one for photos, one for the chupa, and the third during the wedding itself. The most popular are loose wavy hair and high ponytails.

The groom wears an ordinary suit, just like in Poland.

And how do the wedding guests look like?

There is a big difference here in relation to Poland. Usually, in the case of women, they are very "club" clothes, they can be tight dresses, long brocade pants or loose in the case of day weddings. Men very rarely wear suits. Rather, it is an ordinary shirt or even a T-shirt.

WEDDING RECEPTION
Let's get to the point - weddings! Tell me what yours looked like.

Immediately after the wedding, there was a snack, which was time for me to change into a second dress. The first dance was waiting for us. In Israel, the first dance is simply the so-called Slow - the couple sway to the music. I made my husband learn all the choreography!

After the dance, the party begins. It is more like dancing in a club with a DJ, there is no dance leader, no games. Sometimes the guests themselves prepare surprises, films or dances for the bride and groom.

Very often, guests are given all kinds of props, glowing bands, funny glasses, etc. The fun is not "until dawn" as in Poland

In the case of evening weddings (Sunday-Thursday), everything starts around 19-20 and lasts until around midnight. On Fridays, the wedding begins around 11am and lasts almost until the Sabbath (until the sun goes down), in our case it was 6pm.

What are the types of Jewish weddings? I see mostly huge ones, spread out in the streets. Do sumptuous happen also?

The ones in the streets are in very religious communities or in the process of the crown. All other weddings are very sumptuous.

What is the alcohol issue at a wedding?

There is alcohol, the Jews have no problem with it. Although it is different than in Poland, there are no bottles on the table, sometimes maybe one with wine. Usually the alcohol is poured by waiters.

What is given to a young couple as a gift? In Turkey, it is tradition to give gold to young people, and in Israel?

Money, although I think they will not despise gold either.

If you were to compare Polish and Israeli weddings. How are they different?

I think that in Israel you are chasing more trends. The wedding ceremony and reception are held in the same place. The ceremony is always joyful (in Poland, sometimes the priest can speak in an almost sepulchral tone), although the religious background differs. The cost of a wedding in Israel is also appalling! Another curiosity is the use of photo services on magnets or wooden blocks, which can be seen on the refrigerators of many Israelis.

The final question about the wedding - does a woman change her name in Israel after marriage?

Yes, the same as in Poland.

LIVING IN ISRAEL
Life brought you to Israel, but are you planning to stay there?

She plans to stay here for now. I love living in a sunny country, I feel like a better version of myself. I will rather not come back to Poland.

How do you, as a Pole, a blonde, feel in a country with a completely different culture? You moved from Christian Poland to a country where men wear yarmulkes, and Saturday is a holy day.

I think that living in another country is fascinating and still surprising, it is impossible to get bored. The culture here has become part of my culture already, so I don't feel that different.

It may be controversial, but I believe that in many respects Poland is a more religious country than Israel.

Religion is not so involved in everyday life. I feel at ease here.

Maybe residents of more religious cities, like Jerusalem, feel it differently, but Tel Aviv and the surrounding cities are relaxed - buses run partially on the Sabbath, you can find open shops, men in yarmulkeys or women dressed more religiously are less often seen.

How about the language?

I graduated from Hebrew school, I speak the language freely.

Now you know Hebrew, but before you learned this difficult language, did you feel alienated while living in Israel?

I used to feel alienated. It was difficult for me to even shop in a supermarket, arrange anything, everything was foreign. I don't know when the change took place, maybe along with learning the language, maybe I just got used to life. I found a job here, I am among the Israelis. Now I feel more "Israeli" than ever and I think it's not over yet.

Is your life better as a foreigner?

Much better! Apart from the energy for life that I mentioned earlier, I also like the mentality here. People are very open and tolerant, kind and helpful, although they can be difficult at times.

I have never encountered any sign of hostility because of the origin, on the contrary - every second Israeli will happily say that his grandmother / grandfather / aunt etc. was Polish.

What role do women play in Israel, most of them working or staying at home?

As for women, it is different in religious societies, it is often the woman who works and the man studies the Torah, but it is also an individual matter.

The vast majority of secular women work and pursue careers on an equal footing with men. Maternity leave here lasts only three months, with the possibility of extending it to six, so that women are not "pushed" out of the labor market. There is no question of patriarchy in everyday life, women share household chores on an equal footing with men.

Since we are talking about life in Israel - I heard that life is very dear there. Especially when it comes to real estate! What does it really look like?

The topic of housing can be divided into Tel Aviv and the rest of the country.

Until recently, I lived in Tel Aviv. It is a city of young people, a lot of parties, there is always something going on, hence the high demand for living there. Housing standards are low, you have to work hard to find something modern at a good price. Most of the buildings are privatized and not renovated - the owners know that even the most dilapidated room can sell out at an exorbitantly high price.

Flats are usually very small. Mostly there are no private parking lots, and looking for a parking space in the street is like playing the lottery.

It's better outside of Tel Aviv. Now I live in Ra'ananna, a relatively "young" city, where most of the buildings are modern, newly built, and prices are not artificially high. The buildings have private underground and surface car parks.

Is there something special about living in Israel?

Most apartments in Israel have a special room that serves as a shelter. Its walls are reinforced and the window can be covered with an iron curtain. If there is no shelter in the apartment, it is usually built in a building or in the immediate vicinity.

If I came to Israel, where would you take me?

Probably everywhere, because I like to show everything that's good. I like deserts and mountainous areas the most.

When is the best time to visit your beloved country?

April May. It is not hot then, usually it does not rain anymore like in winter. In autumn it is also cooler, but then the northern part of the country is dry after the summer. In spring it is green in the north and sandy in the south.

Weddings of the World - Martyna and her Georgian wedding on crazy papers
What are your plans for the future? Has your husband already seen Poland?

Yes, he likes it very much! Every time I show him something new, he is delighted. We plan to live together. No matter where, no matter how!

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Marta Abramczyk - a journalist by profession and passion. During her studies, she went to Izmir, with which she fell in love at first sight. She lived, studied and worked as a tour leader in magical Turkey. On his blog Ejbrams on tour , he introduces the culture of the Orient, but he doesn't stop there! He travels all over the world thanks to interviews with fascinating interlocutors.

Creation date: January 14, 2022 08:40

[Bonobo]

A Poless in Madrid, Spain

www.onet.pl/styl-zycia/onetkobieta/polka-o-zyciu-w-madrycie-za-mieszkanie-trzeba-tam-zaplacic-krocie/5p951zh,2b83378a


Karolina lives in Madrid. "Only after a few years can you really stand on your feet here"

Madrid is not one of the most expensive capitals in the world, but it is not cheap. It's hard to find a job here that could pay for everything, and the rental prices are very high, and you can still live peacefully, using what this city has to offer - Karolina Szklarz tells Onet, which the pandemic stopped in Spain and ... despite the difficulties, she decided to stay there.

Karolina Błaszkiewicz
16.5 thousand
January 21, 2022, 09:54

The stay in Spain was supposed to last several months, until April 2020 at most. Karolina Szklarz, a former Gdańsk guide, did not expect that she would stay for longer. Due to the coronavirus pandemic, she changed her life 180 degrees and moved to Madrid with her beloved Carlos
The Polish woman was looking for a job for herself for a long time, she also spent her sleepless nights in high rents. - Carlos's dad had to vouch for us
When the professional and housing situation stabilized, our compatriot began to get to know the locals better. - You enter the first better bar, all you need to do is know a few words in Spanish and everyone is yours - laughs Karolina
On a daily basis, our interlocutor misses the most Polish food, loved ones and old work, but she slowly settles in Madrid
You can find more such stories on the Onet homepage
Karolina did not plan to move to the Spanish capital, but the pandemic decided for her. After the first lockdown, it became one of the madrileños (that's what Madrid say about themselves - ed.). Finding a job and a shelter turned out to be the biggest challenge.

Karolina Szklarz: Me and my boyfriend Carlos met in Poland. We've been together for almost seven years, but after a while he started whispering that it would be fun to move to Madrid. He had eaten a bit of Poland, and I, in turn, came back tired of living abroad. When my presiding season was over, and Carlos was closing the company, we decided that we would go to South America. It was supposed to be a journey of a lifetime and lasted three months.


On the way back we stopped for Christmas in Spain. I thought that I would go to the boy's hand, we will sit for a while, at most until April, because then his cousin got married and we will return to Poland.

I thought I was so smart (laughs). I was wrong - the pandemic got us in the countryside, and then Carlos got a job. It was swept up.

Okay, but it seems to me that your lockdown must have been completely different than the one in Poland.

Carlos's family has an apartment in Talavera - a town with 80,000. residents and a house in the countryside. We just went there for the weekend just before everything closed. We were walking when I saw the emergency information on my phone. As far as I can remember, it was March 13th then.

They did not stick around - they were ordered to stay in their houses and not go out. We thought that there were some things to be done in the village, after all, there was no living spirit around. Most of the locals came from Madrid only for the weekends, and the pandemic kept them in the capital.

See also: Alex grew up in New York. "I thought Poland was an exotic country"
Did you go for walks anyway?

Exactly. Until the police caught us and wanted to impose a fine of 600 euros (almost 3,000 zlotys) per person, when we were both unemployed (laughs). The restrictions were closely watched, so much so that villagers were suggested to go out to feed the hens once every three days!

Karolina in the countrysideKarolina in the countryside - Private Archive
At first I thought they were crazy. According to policemen, we were irresponsible when "the whole world was on fire". And we replied: gentlemen, we haven't passed anyone. The only companion of the walk was a shepherd with sheep, who greeted us with a wave of his hand, from a distance of about 500 meters.

At least you have something to tell.

Meanwhile, Carlos' sister called us from Madrid and told us that it is easier than we are.

After a while, people started to figure out. In a big city it was much more difficult to control society, although I think it was still more restrictive than in Poland.

Then things calmed down a bit, Carlos got a job, but it wasn't that easy for you to find a job ...

When we lived in Poland, I wondered what the Spaniards were doing there. I love our country, but you know what it is about ... Spain is something completely different, a warmer climate, strong family ties from many generations, and people everywhere. It turns out that they will hire you in a corporation with us much faster than in Spain.

Karolina with the Mayor of Madrid, José Luis Martínez-AlmeidaKarolina with the Mayor of Madrid, José Luis Martínez-Almeida - Private Archives
How is that?

Spaniards go to Poland for student exchange and stay to gain experience for 2-3 years and then return home. Carlos did just that. His friends from Madrid had to accept unpaid internships, although they had to make a living. And Madrid is not the cheapest, especially when it comes to housing. Only after a few years can you bounce back here.

So I think I was lucky because when Carlos got the job, there was an advertisement for a German-speaking legal position on LinkedIn. I did fit in, even though I hadn't dealt with the law for ages.

I wondered for a long time why I was successful. Compared to Gdańsk, many Germans live in Madrid and they earn much better.

You probably hang out with the Spaniards on a daily basis.

They sometimes form closed, hermetic communities. I've known my boyfriend's friends for a long time, but I still bite into their group. But Madrid itself is a very open city. I was a bit afraid to live in it, because capitals are too big, too noisy cities for me. I've lived in Berlin and Warsaw before, although Madrid is something else.

What do you mean?

You walk into any bar, all you need to do is know a few words of Spanish and they are all yours.

In "our" bar on the corner, I met 70-year-old Pepe, a retired civil servant who was responsible for organizing school and student stays in Madrid.

Pepe is my friend today and I drag him around town (laughs) to reveal its secrets to me . I think if you are open the bar will connect you with people.

When did you decide that it is worth showing your Madrid life on Instagram?

In the countryside, when they locked us up. I took photos during my walks and published them. Then I found a few girls from different parts of Spain, I watched them and was inspired by them, I met with some of them and we keep in touch.

At the beginning, maybe 300 people followed me, asking, for example, where did my donkeys come from? Suddenly it turned into a thousand! I was laughing that I became an influencer. The truth is, Madrid is a really interesting place. I smuggle in some knowledge in an accessible way, I show the local life, inviting Internet users to discover the city together.

Importantly, you do not hide its dark sides. Is there anything you particularly dislike about Madrid?

The question of work worried me for a long time. I was able to change it recently, but quite accidentally. The girl found me on LinkedIn and my German helped a lot.

Someone rarely replies to the CV, and I sent a lot of applications. It's hard to find a job where you can pay for everything and still have a good life with what Madrid has to offer.

Madrid is not the most expensive capital in Europe, but, as I said before, it is not cheap. So you must be an expert in some field to change jobs. The second thing - housing prices.

Our interlocutor on the street in MadridOur interlocutor on the street in Madrid - Private Archives
Can you expand?

We were very lucky, because a Polish friend of hers was moving out from the place recommended to us by Carlos's sister. She told us: "You must come here, the apartment is without an intermediary."

The rest of the text below the video.


I can tell you that such an opportunity is rare, and realtors usually take the amount of one rent, plus a two-month deposit and the first payment can be up to 5,000. euro (approx. 22 thousand. 600 PLN).

However, I would like to add that Carlos's dad had to vouch for us, because we had no employment contracts or bills from our previous apartment in Spain to prove our duly paid fees, which is absolutely required.

Do you pay a lot for rented four corners?

About 900 euro (4,000 PLN) with everything and it's really cheap (Karolina shows me a living room, two rooms, a kitchen and a small bathroom - editor's note). Normally it is about 1000-1200 euro. We live in a very nice neighborhood of Chamartin, near the Bernabeu stadium. At first I was shaking my nose because I dreamed of a big terrace, but now I think we were really lucky.

Karolina and CarlosKarolina and Carlos - Private Archive
I have to ask how you live together. After all, you are from different worlds.

We reach each other all the time (laughs). I am Spanish by nature, Carlos is very calm for a Spaniard, so when his friends from the countryside met me, they laughed that I was more Spanish than he was.

I like the looser mentality of the local people, but there are a lot of things that I miss. For example, a common generational identity. This is the "Home Kindergarten" watched together. Things that connect you with someone.

I understand that Carlos doesn't like Polish cuisine.

He likes broth and dumplings. Generally, I have nothing to complain about, but sometimes I think it would be fun to hear: "You know, I want lovebirds".

Recently, I made them from cabbage brought from the village, I also prepared cabbage soup. And I'll eat it myself.

So you had to learn Spanish recipes?

No, no, Carlos is cooking - since he doesn't eat my stuff, and I eat everything ... and because he cooks very well, I adapt willingly (laughs).

Okay, what are you missing?

Food, family, direct flights to Gdańsk, the former work of a guide and well-worn paths. I don't miss January for that, even though we are either freezing or too hot now. If someone has been to Spain once during the heating season - he knows what's going on.


I think a lot of people would like to switch with you now.

That's possible! I repeat that in my case it was mentally prepared spontaneously.

I didn't want to, I was up to it, I thought I would outsmart Carlos, but today is fine. I'm happy.

Karolina's profile can be found at this link .

Karolina Błaszkiewicz
Journalist and publisher of Onet Woman